The Love of My Life

My son is eight years old. He was not even three when I left his father. He was a curly haired toddler who loved to watch Blues Clues and Sesame Street. He has grown up so fast, I sometimes wish he would stay little forever.

I recall holding him for the very first time on November 16, 2002. I had never believed in love at first sight until then. I loved him immediately, and knew there would be absolutely nothing I would not give to him.

He came home last night after visitation with his Dad. He ran to his bedroom to put something away, then announced his closet was off limits to me because there was a surprise in there for Mother’s Day. I gave him a hug and a kiss, and promised I would not look in the closet.

Last year on Mother’s Day, we made blueberry pancakes, which we do every year. He also had a little gift for me. He made a book at school called “All About Mom” and it had little drawings, and other cute fill-in-the-blank pages. One of the pages said “If I could give my Mom anything I would give her…” My son answered THE WORLD.

I feel the same way. There is nothing I would not do for him. I wanted him to have a better life than I did as a kid, and I am succeeding. I want him to know that no matter what he grows up to be, I will always love him. My son wants to grow up to be a New York Yankee and he also wants to be a chef.

I have been raising my son to respect women. The household was about to explode when I left. I would not have allowed my son to be harmed. You hurt my son on purpose, I will make your death look like an accident.

I never thought becoming a Mother would change me so much. I never thought I was capable of so much love. I would happily give my son the world and in many ways, I already have.

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21 thoughts on “The Love of My Life

  1. As a Mom of 3….one being an almost 10 year old boy (who despite us being in Chicago shares your son’s love of Yankees!) I can totally relate to this post!!

    It’s amazing what we do for them, and the instant love we feel. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of him with us!

    • It really is amazing isn’t it? There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him. He says he is going to grow up to be a Hall of Fame player. I tell him everyday he can be anything he wants to be.

  2. that’s me and my little one… which was awful cuz she had a stomach bug last night that kept me on the couch with her.
    that closet has gold in it!

  3. Beautiful! Personally, I think there is nothing more important in the whole world than your family and your relationship with them. And if your son wants to give you the whole world, then that’s even better :D I also like that you taught him how to respect women, because I met my father when I was about 15, my mother taught me the same. Your personality can be shown in your child ;)

  4. Nancy,
    I get this: I never thought becoming a Mother would change me so much.
    I hear you! You can’t imagine it, even when watching your sister have a baby, what it will be like to have your own.
    I remember when I was pregnant the first time reading a quote to this effect “The decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It’s the decision to allow your heart go walking around outside your body.” SO true!
    Happy Birthday to your little boy!
    Lori

    • Lori,

      I never thought of myself as Mom material ever. Then I found out I was pregnant and knew that I wanted that child with all my heart. We found out I was having a boy, and we chose his name even before I gave birth! I would actually talk to my expanding belly!

      “The decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It’s the decision to allow your heart go walking around outside your body.” All I can say to that is Amen!

      Thanks for the great comment Lori.

    • He is loved. He tells me how much he loves me. I do not let a day go by without telling him how much I love him. He is lucky, but so am I. I have a great kid.

  5. Nancy – how wonderful is this! I completely relate – I, too, got the ‘hell outta Dodge’ when my kids were teeny. Best move for all of us.

    I love LOVE this: “I recall holding him for the very first time … I had never believed in love at first sight until then.”
    In the first nanosecond I met my son after he Finally decided to enter this world, I recognized him immediately – as though I known him all my life.

    I have one of each – both almost grown now – and daily they fill my heart, my soul, and my world with love, laughter, and the passion to live a very long time!

    Thank you for such an intimate peek into your life. It’s pure kindness to share it :-)

    • I agree. My OB handed him to me and he stopped crying. It is almost as if he knew I was his Mommy. I just showed this post to my son who said “I love it Mom. I really do.” and he is a huge part of why I do the things I do.

      Getting outta Dodge was the best thing for us too! Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment!

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  7. Dear Nancy:

    Thanks for such a beautiful post. I feel exactly the same way about my son who is 7! Isn’t it amazing the love you feel! And how it can cut to the core when they are hurt (I wrote about this when my son was bullied on my site under heathcare/parenting) We were attached from the hip early on, literally as he wanted to be carried all the time!

    To this day he says: “Mama, I am never going to leave you!” And until his by the book 4 year old friend told him that you can’t marry family as it is “against the law” (he was devastated to learn this), he used to say: ” I am going to marry you!.

    Can’t wait to peruse your site. You can thank Gini for leading me here!

    Happy Mother’s Day!
    Rajka “Ryka”

    • Dear Rajka,

      Thank you for such a beautiful comment! My son tells me all the time that I am the coolest Mommy ever. We have been through a lot of things together, and the best part of being his Mother is telling him every single day how much I love him and how much he means to me. I never get sick of telling him how important he is to me.

      I have Gini to thank for leading so many people here to this blog. She is just great isn’t she? I love her sense of humor and her common sense about business.

      Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

    • The surprise in the closet was a door hanger that says “Mom” going down, which is hanging on my bedroom door. He also made me a beautiful card in school. The front is a bouquet of flowers and inside it says “Thanks for helping me bloom and grow” I cried again. Ah, motherhood. :)

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