Yesterday, I was reading my friend Bill Dorman’s blog. He has Erin Feldman there guest posting and her post was about rejection. Here is my take on romantic rejection. I hope you enjoy it.
“You are a great friend, but not a girlfriend”
“You’re too good for me”
“You would make a great wife, but not my wife.”
All of these rejections hurt. Rejection sucks, and there is no way to make it not suck. If I had a dollar for every time that I was told I was “cute, but not for me” I would have my rent paid.
I have never taken rejection all that well, and romantic rejection stings even worse. It feels as though they are rejecting my very essence. The longer I am in a relationship, the worse it hurts. I have been especially unfortunate in the breakup area. I had a recent long term relationship end over the phone.
Because he did not have the balls to do it in person. I could not handle that breakup, and unfortunately it took me years to get over him. I was so madly in love with him that when he did end things with me, I went into denial and then into depression.
I tried to be friends with him but that only made matters worse. All it did was leave me confused and in terrible emotional pain. I do not suggest being friends with an ex. It can work sometimes, but my experience has shown me that it does not.
When I do get rejected, I can handle it better if it comes sooner rather than later. If the man in question is mature about it, I am less likely to view myself as a total failure. I have had breakups where I did bounce back fairly easily, and without exception those men handled things with grace and tact. Those who keep you around out of convenience are cowards plain and simple.
If all else fails, I turn on the music and get some Ben and Jerry’s. That always helps me cope with rejection.
How do you cope with romantic rejection?