Who are you living for? Are you fulfilling your own dreams or someone else’s?
Yesterday, chatting with one of my closest friends, the topic turned to what matters most in life. See, she wants to do something for herself. This got me thinking about goals and how we go about achieving them. The first thing that jumps into my mind is the question of who am I doing this for. Is this goal in my heart, or am I living out a dream for another person?
This question seems easy, but the truth can be hard to come by.
I used to think I lived for myself, but that was untrue. I lived to be accepted by others, when what I needed was to accept myself.
Rarely have I decided to pursue a dream all on my own. That mentality is starting to change. Life is about doing the right things for the right reasons and chasing after your dreams. YOUR dreams. Not your friend’s dreams, or your boss’s dreams, but yours. When I think about what I want my life to look like in five years, I am creating a vision for me. That is a far cry from how I used to live.
Living for another person has been a major stumbling block in my life. I have no one to blame but myself for this.
When you please others while ignoring your own wants and needs, resentment can fester and grow. If life is meant to be lived, why put all of your eggs into another person’s basket? Why? To be accepted? To not challenge the status quo?
When I die, I don’t want a lengthy list of goals and dreams I allowed to die. I want to be remembered as a person who stopped caring so deeply about popular opinion. Living life catering to the ever-changing world of what friends and acquaintances have to say is a set up for disaster. Forgetting yourself means you are living by default.
This can have all kinds of consequences.
Years ago, I went furniture shopping with my boyfriend who was pretty successful. We went to a few furniture stores, and he talked me into buying seven thousand dollars worth of furniture for my apartment. At the time, I could afford the payments, but in all reality, this was a bill I didn’t need. I kowtowed to him and in the interim, bought myself a nice hunk of debt. What I should have done in retrospect, was to be far more budget conscious. Thank goodness I no longer do stupid things like this. It seems silly, but I got that furniture to impress him. Pathetic. If I were a stronger person, I would have said no.
I needed to stand up for myself instead of living for others. It has been a tough lesson to learn, but these days I have stopped looking so much for approval. I approve of me, and that is what matters.
Are you looking for others to approve of you?